Are Clutter and Overwhelm Limiting Your Highest Potential?

Welcome to the Soul-filled Cafe, Sue! It’s fun to have a returning “veteran” (Sue was a guest blogger in 2010 for us)

You have so much to share on this topic — I am enjoying my morning coffee and looking forward to today’s conversation.

First one with a question for Sue get’s an Itunes gift song of your choice…so “hop to it”

PS How’s the weather in Minnesota this morning? I am writing in from NJ (but on my way to Wash DC today) and it’s gorgeous out.

Hello Sue,

nice to see you here… You say to focus on a few things that work and bring you joy and let go of the rest but what if the problem is feeling that everything is important and not knowing how to prioritize?

thank you

Zisaro

There is So much great information online. I find it helps to (every few weeks) , really look at my emails and unsubscribe from those that have been temporarily helpful (and expressing gratitude to the authors) and then retaining the ones that contuniue to offer what I currently need.

okay, I have a question: Sue, is there a tool you recommend for helping to focus on what’s essential? As an eft coach, I tend to use that technique, but would love to know what else you’d suggest:)

Hey there @70ff72b7bf6a5bb920a8ba6db2ac5733:disqus — you are the grand prize winner of an itunes song of your choice today, for being the first one here with a Question. (woohoo) Send your email address to info@soulflledlife. com and your song choice (Just make sure it’s available on itunes). And we’ll send the song to you via email.

Great question too!

Hi Sue — thanks for being here. What does an EFT coach do? (I know a bit about EFT but would love to hear it in your own words as an expert and how it helps people focus)

Sue I’m so glad to see you here on the blog today; I’ve benefited so much from your wisdom and have shared it with many others! For me, the most important thing you have shared is expanding the idea of “clutter” way beyond stuff. Working with your principles, I have cleared so much that was extraneous to my Essential Self–activities, thoughts, beliefs, patterns (and of course, stuff) that were getting in the way. So thank you thank you thank you for sharing your truth with the world!

My question today is this: what is the easiest way to identify that clutter (in any form) is the obstacle/growth opportunity; and, once you know that it is a clutter problem, how do you narrow down where it is? Thanks!

Great post, Sue, thank you! I like your bio and have a question about that, if I may. In what ways do you find our exterior worlds reflect the level of abundance we’re open to receiving? A cluttered space leaves no room for more, or…?

Hi, everyone! I’m here, and ready to start answering your clutter questions!

Hi, Heather,

Thanks so much for inviting me back! I’m so excited to be here..looking forward to today’s conversation, too!

And the Minnesota weather is fantastic today…yesterday we hit 91 degrees! I have all the windows open and can hear the birds singing. Gorgeous!

Sue I couldn’t figure out how to add my picture to my first post, so I’m reposting here. Sorry if this shows up twice! I always like seeing people’s faces…makes the conversation more real.

My question today is this: what is the easiest way
to identify that clutter (in any form) is the obstacle/growth
opportunity; and, once you know that it is a clutter problem, how do you
narrow down where it is? Thanks!

And Sue let me also say that I’m so glad to see you here on the blog today; I’ve
benefited so much from your wisdom and have shared it with many others!
For me, the most important thing you have shared is expanding the idea
of “clutter” way beyond stuff. Working with your principles, I have
cleared so much that was extraneous to my Essential Self–activities,
thoughts, beliefs, patterns (and of course, stuff) that were getting in
the way. So thank you thank you thank you for sharing your truth with
the world!

Hi, Zisaro,

Great to hear from you! Congratulations on jumping in with the very first question!

And wonderful question…it’s probably the biggest challenge most entrepreneurs face today.

The truth is, everything around you is going to try really hard to convince you that it’s the most important!

But there are only a few, most essential things that important. Here’s my formula to get you started:

1. Determine what you most want your life to be about. What lights you up and makes you the most happy, what do you most want to accomplish or achieve, what do you want your day to be filled with, what do you want to be doing with your business? When you know what you really, really want, then you can start making good choices about what stays and what goes.

2. Based on what you most want in your life, look at your biggest payoff activities. For example, what things do you really enjoy doing, that also bring you the most results for the time and energy you invest in them (whether results mean money, clients, achievement, delight or whatever else is important to you). If you’re having trouble figuring out what those activities are, start making a big list of every little activity, task, and action you take in your day. It can help to do this over the course of a week or so, to see what you do in your average week. Then pick the top 2-4 activities that bring you the best results.

3. Then start eliminating the lowest value other activities on your list (these are what I would call the clutter in your day). Often, we think we’re being productive, but we’re really just keeping busy with things that truly don’t bring any real value. I’m not saying this is always easy…in fact, letting go of clutter can be one of the most challenging things we do because we are really attached to it. Actually, we are really attached to what we believe about it. To find out what beliefs you are attached to, complete the following sentence about any low value activity: “I can’t stop doing this because ____________.” And you’ll start getting a glimmer of the belief that is driving the activity.

These steps may sound simple (and they are), but again, they aren’t always easy to do, so take your time and be gentle with yourself.

Clearing clutter, whether it’s physical clutter, time clutter, activity clutter, or any other kind of clutter, is best done over time, in layers.

And you can do it!

Warmly,

Sue

Hi, Suegently,

I totally agree with you! That’s really great…on a regular basis, check in with yourself and see what’s the most valuable and helpful to you right now, and let go of the rest.

Hi, Sue,

Great question! Yes, I use a number of tools…and my very favorite is what I call the Clutter Test (you can also call it the Joy Test, because they are like two sides of the same coin).

For the Clutter Test, you ask yourself about anything you are considering, whether it is a book, an item of clothing from your closet, a class you’re thinking about taking, or an activity or to-do item, and check in with your body to see how your body responds to that thing.

If you sit quietly and breathe for a few moments, and then think about that thing, what happens to your body? Do you get a feeling of lightness, of uplifting, of radiance, or maybe even smiling or breathing easier and deeper? If so, your body is telling you the thing is supportive of you at this time and you can trust that. On the other hand, if your body starts feeling constricted, tighter, or heavy…well, your body is giving you a no.

I trust our body compass…even if our head doesn’t know or gives us reasons or comes up with all kinds of rationale, our body always knows.

Lightness = yes/joy, heaviness = no/clutter.

And I’d love to hear how you use EFT to focus on what’s essential!

Warmly,

Sue

Hi, Kimberly,

It’s so great to see you here today! And I really love hearing that you’ve been clearing out clutter on all levels…you are doing such powerful work, and creating plenty of space for your message will let you share it even more.

Here’s how I can always tell that clutter is getting in the way…if you feel constricted, tight, overwhelmed, or stuck, clutter of some kind is at the core of what’s going on.

And for those of you who are new to my work, I have identified 7 levels of clutter in my Clutter Pyramid (there’s clutter in more areas than people realize). Here are the 7 levels in the Clutter Pyramid:

Energy/spirit clutter

Mind clutter

Body clutter

Relationship clutter

Time clutter

Virtual clutter (email, internet, your computer)

Physical clutter (at the base of the pyramid)

And the good news is, narrowing it down is actually pretty straight-forward.

Ask yourself where you are feeling the most stress, or where something is bothering you or driving you crazy…or where you are feeling blocked or stuck. Often, just asking yourself the question brings up a response.

And I tend to start people on their physical clutter, because it’s the most tangible kind of clutter. For entrepreneurs, physical clutter often comes in the form of paper clutter, and when we start clearing out the papers, we uncover a whole under layer of beliefs, thoughts, decisions, and expectations about what those papers represent…and that’s where the true treasure in this work shows up.

I call it the archeological dig into your own life, because you when start sifting through your stuff and making decisions about what to keep, what to let go, and also start recognizing the reasons you haven’t let go up to now, you get to the heart of what’s really running your life.

And we don’t have to look hard to find them or figure them out. Those limiting beliefs will come up, loud and clear, on their own when we start clearing out the physical stuff.

That’s also why I call clutter clearing “modern-day alchemy,” in the words of Denise Linn. It’s literally like magic.

Warmly,

Sue

Hi Carrie! So fun to “see” you here. (@facebook-686191829:disqus is the genius behind soulfilledlife.com ‘s new fresher look! )

check her gifts out at:

http://www.pinkelephantcommunications.com/say-hello/

Yay! Ok — I am off for a drive down to DC. Will be checking in on you and blog later today. Have fun!!

and thank you for being here.

Hi, Carrie!

Thanks so much for your great question.

And there are actually several reasons that our exterior world reflects the level of abundance we are open to receiving.

One, like you mentioned, is that when your home, your schedule, your day, your life, your closet, your filing cabinet, and every other area are completely packed, there is no room, either literally or otherwise, for you to fit anything else in. You start missing opportunities that show up, you stop noticing what you already have (because you can barely see or experience it in the visual blur of stuff), and you can simply barely breathe.

The other reason, and this is one that most people are completely unaware of, is that when you keep items in your life that do not bring you joy, that you are not actively using, and that are not serving you, you are surrounding yourself with extremely low energy vibrations.

Imagine yourself connected to every single thing in your life by tiny little strings of energy, all going out of you to your stuff. If those items aren’t playing an active, joyful role in your life, it’s like that energy is leaving you and going into a black hole. You are investing a tiny bit of your energy to maintain that stuff, to think about it (even subconsciously), to know that you are responsible for it, etc. Your energy is going out of you to track that stuff, and it’s not giving you anything back.

But the stuff that you are using, that you love, that plays an active, vibrant role in your life…that stuff actually gives you energy back. It makes you feel good. It energizes you. It makes you smile. So not only does your energy flow to it, but it flows right back to you.

And abundance needs flow.

In addition, the REASONS you don’t let go of clutter also dramatically affect you. For example, if you keep something because “I might need it someday”…even though you actually have no specific timeline for doing so, you are actually telling the Universe that you don’t trust that you will have what you need when you need it. This is especially true for creative entrepreneurs who clip every article and save every newsletter, thinking that ‘down the road someday’ they’ll need that information. When you tell the Universe that you don’t trust that what you need will be there when you need it, no matter how many times you read The Secret or try to manifest what you want or set your intentions, your underlying belief is in scarcity, not abundance, and that underlying limiting belief will always trump your best intentions.

Great question, Carrie!

Warmly,

Sue

Hi Heather and Sue! I have been looking forward to today. It is wonderful to see so many comments already! I am SO happy that after speaking with Sue on Friday I can already say my “mental” business clutter is improving! Follow the formula….it WORKS! Thank you SUE!

And I love seeing your smiling face, Kimberly!

I responded to your post below, so hopefully that will still show up.

Warmly,

Sue

Sue thank you this is very helpful! I love your reference to clutter clearing as modern day alchemy! So true!

Hi, Allison,

It’s so wonderful to see you here! And YAY – so happy to hear that your mental business clutter is improving after our call!

Big happy dance!

Warmly,

Sue

My pleasure, Heather! Have a great drive…looking forward to more conversations with you today.

Big hug,

Sue

So you’re the gifted creative genius, Carrie, that Heather told me about! How fun to see more of your work!

@heathergray:disqus thanks for featuring @suerasmussen:disqus today. Sue, here’s my question — what’s your best tip for procrastinators when it comes to clearing mental and physical clutter? Is there a quick mindset shift process you offer that makes people WANT to be clear even on a subconscious level?

It’s the fastest way I know to uncover what’s really going on…and to gently let it go!

Why is paper/filing such a problem that continues? It’s the one spot I am just continuing to be stuck.
Patti

Hello Heather

the email you gave me didn’t work?

My email is Zisaro net

thank you

It’s great to have you here Sue! You are an inspiration to me when it all seems so impossible! I have great intentions every morning of transforming everything (including my garage) but get bogged down in the constant interruptions and distractions of my busy environment.

My question is: I have a hard time figuring out what to do with sentimental things as I am clearing clutter. What do you suggest for all the photos, framed photos as well, kids projects from grade school, memorabilia that seems to be embedded everywhere I look?

Thank you for the work that you do!

song? Firework by Katy Perry

Zisaro@verizon.net

I still have a terrible fear of getting rid of records.
I recently shredded a check that I paid an attorney bill with for my daughter, and found out that they are still billing her for it.
It was paid about 3 years ago, so I can’t find the check to prove it was paid. i had 2 or 3 checking accounts. Linda
Lionda

Hi, Lisa,

I’m so glad you’re here! And what a great question!

Regarding procrastination, there are two main reasons we procrastinate (and sometimes these can become intertwined):

1. I don’t want to

2. I’m scared

When it’s “I don’t want to,” there are several shifts that can really help. The first is to look at what exactly it is you don’t want to do. Does it just seem overwhelming, and the first reaction is to not get started? In that case, breaking it down into very small steps can make a really big difference. I always tell people that gently clearing out clutter in layers, one small step at a time, is where you will see the biggest success.

Is it not knowing where to start that’s creating the “I don’t want to?” The good news is, it really doesn’t matter where you start. There is no right or wrong, you can’t make a mistake, you won’t fail. So I suggest that people consider starting with either the easiest area (to experience a quick win), or the hardest area (to get it out of the way), or start on the left side of the room, or the right, or the top of the closet, and so on.

The other thing I really teach is how to notice what brings you joy and what doesn’t. When you start noticing that surrounding yourself with only those things that bring you joy, you start feeling better and better…and that helps it get easier and more inspiring to handle the clutter.

When it’s “I’m scared,” it can help to look at what’s bringing up the fear. Maybe it’s thoughts like “I can’t do this” or “I’ll fail” or “my mother won’t love me if I get rid of her old china”…some kind of thought or belief that doesn’t feel good. In this case, it really helps to examine the thought. I really love The Work by Byron Katie for examining thoughts like these…and exploring how we act and feel when we believe the thought, as well as how we would act and feel if we couldn’t believe that thought.

Those are a few of my favorite tips about handling procrastination…hope that’s helpful!

Warmly,

Sue

Sue I appreciate your comment that often we think what we’re doing is important, but we are just being busy! Business actually distracts us from the richness that is our life! In your last comment to me you referred to “gently letting go;” I have been doing so much letting go–externally and internally–it is a bit disorienting at times! And yet, I know I’m making space for the truest part of who I am to shine.

I was just talking to Heather on the phone and she asked if I could post a poem here that I just released called “House on Fire,” because it is all about this process of letting go of who you thought you were.

It’s on my blog, if you want to take a look

http://kimberlyschneider.com/blog/when-your-house-is-on-fire-497.html

Thanks Sue! Great Cafe today Heather!

kim

Hi, Olive,

Thanks so much for your wonderful comments!

And you bring up a terrific question. My short answer is: pick the best of the best, and let the rest go.

One way that really works when you’re choosing what sentimental things to keep is to set a limit for yourself.

Did you ever see the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding? There was a beautiful scene in the movie that showed our heroine the night before her wedding, in her nightgown sitting on her bed, with her mother and grandmother. Grandmother left the room for a moment and came back holding one small, beautiful wooden box. She opened it, and you could tell in an instant that the box held her most precious items…a few lovely old photographs, her wedding headpiece, some love letters, and other treasures. She lifted the wedding headpiece out and carefully placed it on her granddaughter’s head, and the three women looked in the mirror at three generations of women, bonded together.

One reason that scene was so touching was because it was one lovely box filled with treasures…and we still got a full sense of the meaning and love and memories. The scene wouldn’t have been nearly as meaningful if grandma brought out 15 boxes of stuff, and the three women started going through thousands of photos, every crayon drawing since birth, all of their baby clothes, every tooth and trophy and report card and souvenir from every trip they had every taken. That would have simply been overwhelming, not fun, and would have quickly lost all meaning.

So set a limit on how much stuff you’re going to keep.

Choose a lovely decorated box, for example…you could have one for the entire family, or one per person. You could choose a big plastic bin with a lid. You could decide that you’ll have one shadow box (to hang on the wall) for each family member. And then each member gets to choose what’s the most precious to him or her.

You get to choose your own limits, but definitely choose some kind of limit. You’ll enjoy your memories so much more that way!

Warmly,

Sue

Sue it’s so great that you are giving us permission to release the idea that there is a “wrong” action when it comes to sifting through our clutter; also appreciate that you invite us to examine the stories we make up about our stuff! I too appreciate Byron Katie–looking directly at those stories and seeing what is underneath our clutter empowers and frees us!

Hi, Linda,

Yes, you’re so right! It’s easy to wonder about what kinds of records to keep and for how long.

Here are a couple of links to pages on my site with more details:

What Kinds of Papers to Keep:

http://www.unclutter-organize-transform.com/organizing-home-files.html

What Kinds of Papers to Toss:

http://www.unclutter-organize-transform.com/organize-home-files.html

If you have legal or financial records that you are really wondering about, I always, always suggest you speak with your tax or financial professional…for those documents, it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

Most people get more stuck on the ‘not so important’ papers than the other kind…so if it is general information you could find on the internet or at the library, it’s usually OK to get rid of it.

Warmly,

Sue

Hi, Patti,

One of the biggest reasons paper and filing is such an issue for so many people is that more comes in every single day. It’s a never-ending inflow of paper and information, and if it’s not junk, most of the papers require some kind of action or decision.

That’s why it’s super important to not only handle the backlog (the stuff that has been piling up for years), but also get comfortable handling the day-to-day as it comes in. It’s so much easier to spend 15 minutes a day processing through your inbox and filing things right away than it is to wait for a month (or a year) and have a huge task on your hand.

If you have a lot of papers that have piled up, there are two things to do:

1. Keep up with the incoming, day-to-day papers. If every day you’re leaving the new stuff flow over to tomorrow, you will never get out of your paper avalanche.

2. Go through the backlog of piles, one pile at a time. You may choose to tackle them slowly, a few minutes a day, or block out a couple of larger chunks of time. Either way works.

And it’s SOOOOOOO worth it. You can’t even imagine how wonderful you will feel when you have your papers handled – and you CAN do it!

Warmly,

Sue

Hi, Kim,

I LOVE this poem…letting go is such a profound, transformational, often terrifying (and always, always, always worth it) act of faith!

Warmly,

Sue

Thank YOU for your wonderful comments, Kimberly!

So true, Kimberly! The stories we tell about our stuff are the heart of our clutter…not the stuff itself.

And unless we examine the stories, we can be firmly, passionately, unknowingly attached to them.

Yes, I remember that scene from the movie! Great analogy! Thank you.

thank you Sue! You are right–always worth it! It is important that we have communities like this, or supportive mentors, to remind us of that when we are terrified!

Hey Sue … (great photo!)

Hey Heather!

So excited to see you here today! I’m such a HUGE fan of your work. Having been through many of your programs, I can honestly say … my world is lighter!!

You got me noticing my clutter, then helped me to eliminate what’s not working in my home, office and schedule! Thank you so much for your practical, easy to follow guide-lines!

No question today … just a note of gratitude for all you do to help “clear the way” for what really matters in life!

Have a great day!

Love, Cherry

Dear Sue:
I hope this posts. I submitted something early today that is not showing up below.
My biggest problem is ongoing projects, problems that go on and on for months and years. For example, paperwork I do for a business that my boyfriend and I ran. He died a year ago April 29, and I am still involved in legal proceedings, because the business was not put in a trust. I am also winding up being an Executrix of my Mom’s Estate. She died four years ago, March 29. I also work on Unemployment job search weekly, and a problem that has gone on for monthths whereby they shortchanged me for benefits for benefits for about two months.

I have to go over income taxes from 2005 – 2009 for a CPA. I am too overwhelmed to complete an Interior Design course I paid for last year, that is ending the end of May. I was only able to get one assignment completed, and so I will have to pay hundreds more again to retake the course.

My small home office is too cluttered to work in, so my kitchen table is covered with folders and files of these long-term probjects that never end, that I am working on. When my grandchildren visit, I have to move these folders and papers and everything gets mixed up again. I usually stand up to eat, or sit on the sofa, because there is no place to eat at my table or counter. I also have three pill cases and other products I take for medical reasons, taking up about half of my kitchen counter. My kitchen counter also he papers I am working on and things I need to get done, as well as my daily appointment book.
How do I keep organized when I don’t have enough space to work on these projects that have been going on for years, and don’t seem to ever come to an end?

In addition to all of the above issues that deplete my mental energy, I get about 25 e-mails per day on job searches, how managers should conduct themselves, the Furniture Industry updates on things in the news. Health related information on supplements, eating healthy, etc. I need to prepare all my meals from scratch, due to ongoing medical conditions that I am under the care of a specialist for. It is rare tha tI can order anything out because of many food allergies and conditions. Medical issues due to a surgery I require on my knees. Keeping up with organizing bills, and being backlogged on organizing bills and filing papers, due to being too busy.

Mentally I feel defeated and confused whenever I begin to try to organize myself.

Thanks,
Linda

Hi Sue, Thanks for this in advance! It is easy to feel overwhelmed with too much stuff, emails, learning things on a daily basis these days! I find difficulty when I go to start categorizing so much paper etc,

Something happened that wouldn’t allow me to type more. Anyway, finding places for everything in a small space is what I really struggle with and procrastinating organizing it all as difficult to find proper space and just too much Thanks for your reply when convenienc

Aloha Sue,

How would you define body clutter? And how do you get rid of it?

Thanks for being here today!

FANTASTIC. Thanks for your juicy answer. I love the information you shared about the potential motives behind inactivity based on “being scared”. WOW. I’ll check out Byron Katie, too. Thanks.

Hi, Crystal,

Thanks so much for joining us here today!

You’re so right…finding places for everything in a small space can be a challenge.

Have you gotten rid of as much clutter (stuff you’re not using/don’t love) first? That’s where I always recommend starting. Get rid of absolutely everything that isn’t playing a vital role in your life AS IT IS TODAY, and once you’re done clearing that stuff out, then focus on organizing what’s left.

For organizing, I love to use the silverware drawer as a great model.

The beauty of a great silverware drawer is that, when you have a good silverware tray (with slots for small forks, large forks, small spoons, large spoons, and knives), you take all the guesswork out of setting it up, keeping it organized, and finding exactly what you need when you need it. It takes about 5 seconds to find the spoons, right?

And you never need to wonder where you put them.

For any spaces, large or small, use the same concept. Designating a place for everything will really help keep the space organized.

So for example, think of where you keep your purse. Do you have a place for it where you can always find it, or do you drop it anywhere as you walk in the door?

Think of every single item that you own, and see if you have a permanent home for each item (much clutter occurs simply because that stuff doesn’t have a place to go).

If you still have questions about this, please let me know, Crystal!

Warmly,

Sue

Hi, Crystal,

Absolutely! We are so inundated with information!

I’ve read statistics that say we have access to more information in minutes than people 100 years ago had to sort through in their entire lives.

So the problem of incoming information is not likely to go away. The best way to start getting a handle on it is to get very, very, very selective about what you will give you attention each day.

Most of the information (from blog posts, articles, newsletters, etc.) that shows up for you to consider on a daily basis might be interesting, valuable, and important…but not that day. If it’s not important that day, consider letting it go. When and if you need it again, it will show up (or you’ll easily be able to find it, and it will be fresh and new at that point).

Focus only on what’s important to you right now…don’t stockpile info and stuff for later.

And if you only keep what’s really important right now, you won’t need to categorize very much, either (in other words, when you clear out the clutter, organizing is easy).

Warmly,

Sue

Hi, Lisa,

Yes, it’s SO helpful to look at what’s underneath the procrastination. It’s often something completely different than what you initially expect.

And I strongly believe that when your body gives you clues (you feel stuck, or uncomfortable about something, or constricted, or anything else that doesn’t feel like joy), there is something important to be learned.

There’s always an opportunity or a breakthrough ready and waiting to be enjoyed.

I bet you know exactly what I’m talking about…everything I know about you tells me that you are extremely insightful and aware.
Does it feel like anything is coming up to be explored?

Warmly,

Sue

Hi, my dear!

Such a big, lovely question.

And since you’re in one of my programs, I’m going to invite you to use some of the tools you have already learned.

(For those of you who are new to my work, I’ll explain a bit more, too.)

First of all, body clutter is anything that is affecting your body and your physical senses and not bringing you joy.

So if you’re in a crowded room that is really noisy, and the noise is affecting your ability to be peaceful and calm, that would be a form of clutter that is affecting your body.

Certain scents or fragrances or smells affect our nose (and our body).

Textures that we love (things that are lusciously soft or fluffy, for example) bring us joy through our sense of touch.

We also have tastes and foods that we truly love…that make everything in our body smile. (And plenty of other foods that don’t bring us joy).

We can experience joy or clutter in what we see around us.

So think of all of your senses getting involved.

Also, what’s going on inside your body can be clutter…like if your body is habitually exposed to a high level of adrenaline (if you keep an extremely fast-paced, stressful, frantic, fire-fighting way of going through your day, for example).

Weight that is above and beyond what your body needs and loves is a form of body clutter.

Lots of areas we can experience clutter regarding our body.

So back to using tools you already know.

Somewhere on this page I talked about my Clutter Test (also known as the Joy Test)…and that’s a great tool when looking at things that are affecting your body.

When you consider all of your physical senses (sight, taste, touch, smell, hearing), where are you delighted?

Does the smell of your home, for example, bring you joy, or are there areas that are less than wonderful?

How about the foods that you eat? Do you absolutely LOVE them, and savor the experience of eating?

And what about what you hear as you go through your day? Do you have the TV or radio on all the time? Does that support you in feeling joyful and peaceful, or does the noise amp up your level of stress? How about adding a water feature? Or turning off the noise and enjoying the birds instead? Or learning how to enjoy the space of quiet?

Like I mentioned, this is a big, juicy topic.

Wonderful question – thanks so much for asking!!

Warmly,

Sue

Hey, Cherry!

So great to hear from you today!

You were in the very first Clear Out Day I offered…we have history together!

Thank you so much for stopping by!

Love,

Sue

Kim, isn’t that the truth? If we thought we were the only ones who were this terrified as we’re going through big changes, well, I can’t even imagine what that would be like!

Hi, Linda,

Thank you so much for your questions…and for sharing your situation.

I can imagine how challenging it must feel right now.

The main thing I want to share with you is that there really is an answer. It may not happen overnight (things didn’t get this way overnight, and they will not be resolved overnight), but there IS a solution.

There are several places that would be good starting points, but I’m feeling guided to make an initial suggestion.

And it’s interesting, because this isn’t always my first suggestion, but it is in this case.

So here it is.

Because you have so many papers all over, in so many rooms, you are likely spending a lot of time every day (I’d guess at least an hour or more) shifting your piles, moving things around, and looking for papers you need.

And then every time you need to eat, or have people over, everything gets moved and mixed up again, so it’s almost like starting over every time.

I’d suggest you go and get yourself half a dozen bankers boxes (cardboard boxes that fold together to make semi-permanent filing ‘cabinets’) and several boxes of hanging file folders (keep it simple and get all one color).

Use one bankers box for all the paperwork for each type of “project” you’ve got:

Box 1: For your business with your former boyfriend

Box 2: For your mom’s estate paperwork

Box 3: For your unemployment/job search paperwork

Box 4: For 2005-2009 taxes

Box 5: For health-related paperwork

Box 6: For bills

Using hanging file folders, put the paperwork for each type of project into its own bankers box.

Label the boxes by its project type so you can easily find the category you need.

Then each time you work on a project, take out that box (and that box only), spread out the papers you need until you are finished with that project for that time period, then put all the papers back.

The only papers that should be out and laying around should be the ones you are working on in the moment.

Get a good planner and write down the next tasks you need to do for each project, so none of them slip through the cracks.

This is going to take a shift in your habits as well. It’s not just about creating a filing system…it means making small changes every day to support the changes, like putting the papers back in the box every day, so they are not laying around.

Just having your papers organized will give you back at least an hour or more a day, so that’s where you can start finding more time to get these things completed.

My biggest message to you is don’t give up.

You’re not failing.

One step at a time, you can completely transform your relationship with your stuff and your space, and in the process, transform the rest of your life as well.

Warmly,

Sue

Hi Sue. This is cool!

Any tips for working with other peoples’ clutter in shared space? I live with two roommates and I’ll pause here to say I really aspire to having my own space…. but for now…

There’s a good amount of clutter about the the house (random unused furniture, mail on the kitchen table, dishes in the sink, the boyfriend’s pants draped over the couch, shoes in front of the door to trip on when you come in…) It’s not nightmarish but definitely affects me.

Do you have thoughts on how other peoples’ clutter affects you, rather than your own? Is it energetically different? Is there a way to sort of “bypass” the energetic sinkholes, if it’s not your own stuff? I try extra hard to keep my own stuff and space in order, and to create small zones of space that I can, say, eat breakfast in, but it requires some cleaning up after others which is a different kind of clutter.

Would love to hear your ideas!

Hi, Marilyn,

Welcome to our conversation! And you bring a great question.

You’re doing the right thing by focusing on your own stuff and your own space first. That’s the best place to put your energy, because you can control your own stuff and how you keep it.

Have you had a conversation with your roommates about their stuff and how it affects you?

The truth is, you can’t MAKE the people around you act the way you’d like (as much as that sounds tempting). But you can certainly ask and negotiate for what you’d like.

You may be able to come to an agreement that the common areas have a certain level of organization and clutter-free zones, for example.

Regarding other people’s stuff, it certainly can affect you…but you can also remember that it’s not your responsibility. It’s not your stuff. It’s not your job. And this may be enough for you to experience peace in the midst of other people’s clutter.

If not, you may be inspired to create your own space sooner vs. later!

Warmly,

Sue

Great question Marilyn.

Ooo, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you list out body clutter like this Sue. So interesting. I have a sense that if people tapped into this more, it would be a lot easier to shed extra or unwanted weight. I often see people at gyms looking like robots. If they tuned in more I think their bodies would show them how to be more efficient with their goals. (And enjoy exercise more!)

And Cherry was my first ever guest blogger. Cherry you are a fearless friend — always willing to dive in and make a difference.

Thanks for being here. xo

Always great to “see” you Lisa!! Thanks for dropping in and asking a such a good question for Sue.

YES – that’s exactly it, Heather. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we focused all of our energy in tuning in to what foods brought us true joy, what ways of moving our bodies made up delightfully happy, what sounds filled up with peace or energy or sassy-ness….

Just a heads-up, everyone…I’ll be here for another 45 minutes or so (it’s 4:17 p.m. Eastern right now)…

I’m so enjoying your great questions and comments…so keep ‘em coming!

Warmly,

Sue

Hi Sue,

this is so cool.

Do you have any thoughts on dealing with other peoples’ clutter in a shared space? I live with roommates (I’ll pause for a moment to say I aspire to having my own space, but don’t yet)

So, the clutter situation is I Iive with people who don’t do much or go out much, and have partners over who also don’t seem to do much or go out much. This by itself feels like some stagnant energy.

Then, there’s the actual clutter (random pieces of furniture in the middle of them, mail on the table, shoes in front of the door to be tripped on when you come in, the boyfirend’s pants tossed on the back of the couch….) It could be a lot worse, but I definitely feel the effect.

So, my questions are: is there a difference, energetically, between my clutter and someone else’s clutter that’s near me? Is there a way to work around the sinkholes other people create? (I do just clean up the kitchen so I can function there, but that takes time which is exactly one of the problems with clutter).

Aside from keeping my own stuff and space under control, do you have any suggestions?

Thanks!

Hi Sue, you can ignore this… I reposted because I couldn’t find the first post and thought it didn’t work! I’ll reply to your lovely reply, below.

Hi Sue,

Thanks! I have in fact negotiated a few things with the roommates (keeping dirty dishes in one side of the sink and leaving the other free, for example). It’s a pick-your-battles type of situation that way.

It is true that, while their stuff gets in my way and clogs the energy in the house a bit, I do feel free to ignore it. With my own clutter, it always feels like I should do something with/about the stuff.

And, yes, it is a good incentive to get to the point where I have my own place…. just dreaming of a place where nothing’s really in the way… or if it is it’s my responsibility and in my control.

Thanks for doing this, I think it’s really cool.

Marilyn

OK, everyone…thanks for a wonderful day of connecting, questions, and talking about creating space!

I’m signing off now…thanks again, so much, Heather for creating this great Soul-Filled Cafe!

Warmly,

Sue

Hi Heather and Sue – Thanks for making yourselves available for advice in this area! My problem is paper – lots and lots of it, not only current interests and work documents but all my past careers that I think will come in handy in terms of my current work. How do I make the decision as to what really to keep and what to let go of? And how can you get more skilled at making decisions around paper?

Thanks for your feedback!

Cheers – Hollee

Thanks for bringing your lovely energy here Olive. And what a good question — the sentimental can be the most tricky of stuff to make authentic decisions around with so much history or meaning attached to it.

I LOVE this response Sue. Makes me laugh even thinking of her dragging 15 boxes into a poingant scene! Yet this is what we do to oursleves with crammed attics and basements of stuff that is too sentimental to let go of

my sister had a flood in her basement and it ruined boxes of old
family films she had stored there. Really wish we had gone thru them and put the favorites on digital and could have let go of the many that no one wanted to watch again.

Thank you Sue!!! So many wonderful tips today.

I love seeing your brilliance in action.

It’s always a joy to host you!!

Hey there Hollee – thanks for dropping in.

Sue already signed off for the day, but definitely peruse the comments as she gave some great tips on paper that I think you’ll find helpful!

~Heather

Thanks so much for posting your poem, Kim. Highly recommend reading it. I think an overall important message for this period of time we are moving through.

Excellent! It feels good to just read through this advice for Linda.

Dear Linda ~

First, I want to offer you a huge, unqualified Hug (((@))) for all the hurts, losses and confusion that you’re living through right now ~ especially with those anniversaries being so close in time.

(My partner of 20+ years passed away last summer, and my Mom’s estate is still not settled completely, too, so I don’t even have to imagine your state – I ‘see’ your kitchen table when I look at my own!)

If I may share a couple of (complementary to Sue’s) strategies that are helping me work through my stuff ~

(Don’t try to do this all-at-once!!! One bite at a time, is how to eat an elephant.
)

- Unless you absolutely need to find a way to generate more income immediately, reduce the ‘seriousness’ of your job-search-for-Unemployment to the bare minimum needed to satisfy their paperwork requirements. It sounds like the ‘last thing you need’ right now is a “real job” that takes you (and your attention) away from getting your own life in more order.

- Download into one file or put in a box, all the materials available for your unfinished class so that you can go back and ‘audit’ it later and glean the education, if not the grade and the credits. Take note of where it is, but get it out of your daily visual field – out of the living space or off your computer desktop, so that it isn’t “gone” but it also isn’t taunting you daily with its ‘un-finished-ness’. Call the money you already spent “water over the dam”.

- Reduce what sounds like overwhelming information inflow. Unsubscribe (or filter your inbox), so you don’t have to decide every day whether or not to “just see what’s new” in every newsletter.

- Arrange for a friend (whom you trust with your tender emotional state) to come over for a day, or even a couple of hours, to help with the papers.

First, simply put all the papers from either the counter or the table into one big box, without even sorting it. Clean the newly discovered ‘clear space’ and celebrate that! Now you have a place to eat, and to work with *those* papers, that isn’t ‘on top of something else – gakkkk!’