Nothing Changes Until Someone Changes

Great any suggestions as to how to let go?

 Hi Heather and Kimberly,
I am sitting here with my real-life coffee this morning, so happy to be “hanging out” with two of my favorite people in this virtual cafe. Heather thanks for providing. Kimberly, thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom and that beautiful, heart-tugging poem.  
Everything you say resonates with me so much…but what I really struggle with when I’m stuck, when I know it’s time for a change, to let go, is HOW to let go…to trust, I guess, that I CAN surrender and be ok AND come through the other side.  It’s as if the stuckness (resistance?) is in equal measure to the fear of letting go…making us more stuck.
I am realizing that I did this a few months ago with something that was happening in my biz (I wrote about it a little bit here at another cafe gathering;)…I was stuck stuck stuck. And unhappy (no miserable would be a better word;)…And after “fighting” it for a little while, I just STOPPED. I stopped doing; I stopped trying to control outcome; I stopped even focusing on “the problem” or even the solution, and just trusted that something new would emerge. And it did.
I am thinking of my work…often I work with women who are really stuck with their bodies, their weight, their eating…and often, it is reflective of some other “stuckness” in their lives. Sometimes it’s easy to keep fighting the body than it is to let go and live the full life. And yet, surrendering to one’s appetites, one’s desires, one’s hungers….well, that’s a whole other scary thing, isn’t it? And that’s really what you’re talking about – magic and miracles happen when we allow our desires to have a voice and then we honor them. The stuckness comes from trying to control them and hold them back because, well, as you said, change is f-ing scary!
I am rambling now because I’m enjoying feeling “heard” in this cafe!  
Love you both!   

I’ve been looking forward to today with Kimberly!  Plus — navigating big change, metamorphosis, and shedding old skins for new ones is a favorite topic of mine. 

Kimberly — sending you a big warm welcome. Thank you for sharing yourself with us today.  And thank you for this beautiful article and heart-filled poem. 

I believe this topic you are sharing will resonate with many people.  Like it or not, change is afoot (on individual levels but also economically, politically, socially, environmentally . . .).   You can see this as “something is wrong” or see it as “an amazing opportunity.”   And how we navigate the change can make all the difference.  It is sooooooo tempting to hold on to the way things have been (to what has worked before, to relationships that are “comfortable,” and to routine jobs that fill up our time and days but not our hearts.)    

My own “birthing” process for “Soul-filled Life” came out of “letting go” of my old life.  One of the big things I needed to let go of was that I had been hired to lead someone else’s workshops. Even though I loved the teachings and deeply appreciated the opportunity to lead them, my heart was pulling me in a different direction.  Trusting that direction and “closing the door” on something that was no longer a match but not having fully birthed what was next took a leap of faith.    And my ego definitely wanted it to be a “quick” process.  But it was definintely NOT quick.  I went through a lot of  “discomfort” and an “empty elevator syndrome” (when you suddenly feel like the relationships you were once surrounded and supported by are now out of synch and spending time alone is what your soul is craving).  And there were times when I could only plan out one day at a time, b/c I felt I didn’t know where I would be in one month (Or who I would be).  Anyone else experience that?    But the amazing thing is looking back and seeing all of the new ideas, relationships and opportunities that have come into my life that I could never have predicted. And I love the feeling of challenges that are towards the vision that I’ve always had for my life — to feel like I am living it now.

Would LOVE to hear about changes that anyone dropping in today is experiencing.  And how is it different from previous change you’ve gone through?

AND Kimberly — I’d love for you to share more about the recent change you
went through.  What was different from other changes you’ve been through
(I mean you’ve morphed several times in your life — one being when you
transformed from a “lawyer” to a “counselor” to a “coach/teacher”

xoxo

Good morning everyone! I woke up this morning excited to connect with you around creating conscious change via magic and miracles (what fun!) Today the sun in shining here in St. Louis, and I greeted it with my bare feet in the grass while the birds sang hello.  I’m ready to share some birdsong and fairy dust with you  

Hello Karen!  And it’s so lovely to hear YOU.

I’m so glad you are sharing about the effectiveness of “STOPPING.”  That can be one of the best ways to let change in. To simply “STOP” doing what is not working (being the rat who keeps running down the same tunnel looking for the cheese, that is not there.) 

I find that when I stop (stop being busy, stop “doing,” and stop “figuring it out”) I can then  “listen” for a hint for a new step.  The tough thing is my “smaller self” (ego, scared parts) want the full blown map. The “what’s next” delivered as a complete package with a bow on it. (ha)  And in my experience, this inner metamophosis, and spiritual evolution we are highlighting today doesn’t happen that way.  (It’s not like signing up for graduate school with your 10 year plan in place).  So much of the old outer structures in the world are changing without a clear picture of what is replacing it, and I think it’s the same for us on individual levels.

And yes, “letting our desires have a voice” is a great way to describe it.  I call it your ‘golden compass” — those moments of joy and inspiration that are guiding us to what is next.  

Karen — what is your golden compass pointing you towards? Are you getting hints of what is wanting to birth for your own life?

 PS I am having my morning coffee right now too!  (cheers)   

Hey there — great question and I think the “HOW” will be a big part of today’s conversation — so definitely peruse the conversation here in the comments section.

But one thing that Karen & I were just discussing here is to start by “STOPPING.”  Simply stop doing what is no longer working, so that you can give space to what is next. Does that resonate for you?

I look forward to Kimberly’s input for you too.

warmest.
 

Hooray the fun has begun! Heather thank you for inviting me back to the Cafe.  I am just delighted to be here. 

Heather your story of letting go of your former career teaching someone else’s workshops is so powerful.  Often we block our own deepest desires because we hold on to what seems safe, familiar and secure.  Of course, that security is only ever an illusion created by our ego.  The only true security is connecting with who we really are (expressions of the Divine, here to create magic and miracles).  When we are in touch with our true nature, then we can do what you did, Heather, and let go of the illusory security to make space for the new and unknown, because we realize that our resources are unlimited.  We don’t have to plan, manage and control because we each moment provides us with whatever we need. 

This does not mean that you won’t sometimes feel fear.  In fact, as you reach the edge of what’s familiar, your ancient brain (the limbic brain, sometimes called the lizard or reptile brain) may send out signals to begin panicking.  This part of your neurology is set up for physical survival, and it interprets great change and the unknown as dangerous. 

If you want to claim your power as a miracle maker, your job is to choose to connect, over and over and over again, with your Source (whatever that means for you).  The simplest way to do that is through the breath.  Breathe in through your nose, slowly.  Fill your belly.  Hold the breath for just a moment, then breath out slowly through the mouth.  Hold the breath for a space, then breath in again.  This exercise will slow you down and allow you to remember who you are.  If you like, you can repeat silently in your mind something like this “Breathing in, I am safe in the arms of the Divine.  Breathing out, I make space for my True Nature.” (change the words as you like so that they resonate with you).

Heather I will definitely sprinkle today with stories of my own letting go–will come back and answer more of what you’ve asked after I address the other questions already on the board this morning! Love and Blessings, k

Karen thanks so much for being authentic about how challenging this process can be! I wish I knew why it is so hard, but as I write that I think about the process of giving birth and of being born.  It is not necessarily always painful, but it is certainly a “big work” on both sides and requires major letting go!  I’m also thinking about the creation of our known Universe–science tells us that it was created with a “big bang,” an explosion of energy and light.  And perhaps we stay stuck awhile to gather our energy and prepare for that sort of release!

You asked HOW to let go and I’m going to answer that in one way (there are actually many ways to do it) in response to Jmea55′s question, below–but I would like to hear how YOU did it.  You shared that when you were able to STOP doing what you had been doing, everything change.  What resources did you find inside of yourself to make that choice? And what did “stopping” look like for you? What happened when you decided to stop? How did you feel after you made the choice to stop trying to make everything work out a certain way? I’m curious to hear about your process and I will write more about this once I hear from you! Love k

Lovely!  Thanks for bringing the magic dear Kimberly.  Here’s to hearing the song birds today. 

Hello Jmea55

For me, letting go is easiest when I get my body involved in the process. 

In fact, I believe the body is critical to manifestation.

In my five step process for conscious manifestation (called “The Cornucopia Method of Manifestation”), the 3rd step is to “befriend your body.”  It is important to be aware of what your body senses and feels because it is a vibrational receiver and transmitter.  The body is actually what I call “The
Manifestation Matrix” (the vehicle through which physical creation
happens as we run energy through our chakras). 
                                                                                                                            We all have cellular memory.  In other words, we anchor experiences and “knowings” in our physical experience, in our bodies, all the way down to the cellular and subcellular level.  Most of the time this cellular memory is completely unconscious.  So if you don’t bring your body into your letting go experience, most of you will still be holding on, out of a habitual pattern.  The brain can only take you so far.  That’s why some modern cellular scientists (I believe Candace Pert is one of them) say that the unconscious mind actually lives in the body.  Therefore, we can access the unconscious mind through the body. 

I talk about this more in a guided meditation that also leads you through a letting go exercise that incorporates the body.  It is very simple and you can do it anywhere.  I normally charge $7 for this meditation but I want to gift you and everyone here at the cafe with it.  Please keep in touch with me and let me know how it works for you, or if you have any questions about it.  If you end up listening to it after today, you can email me at support@kimberlyschneider.com or post on facebook at http://facebook.com/kimberlyvschneider

http://kschneider.audioacrobat.com/download/3f0317cf-30eb-83e0-cf47-a99c6156bb00.mp3

I also highly recommend Victoria Castle’s book The Trance of Scarcity.  She is one of the few manifestation teachers I know of who also emphasizes the body’s role in the process of physical creation, and she has some great exercises in the book to help you let go.  Quite simply, what Victoria recommends is noticing where your body feels tight, uncomfortable, or constricted, having compassion for yourself in that place, and then shifting your body to bring more consciousness and energy into it–for instance, by breathing more deeply, moving, shifting your posture, etc.    This corresponds to my Cornucopia Method of Manifestation, wherein you Befriend Your Body in step 3 (becoming aware of your body’s messages and learning to translate them) and then Raise Your Vibration in Step 4, which often involves a physical process such as breathing, dancing, walking, being in nature, moving, etc.  Peace of letting go to you, kimberly                                                          

Just to be clear, you can download that letting go meditation for free at the kschneider.audioacrobat link above.
 

Heather I like that in this post and your first post you are touching on the fact that this process does not go according to plan.  When we talk about letting go, surrendering, there are many layers to that.  And I always encounter in myself a few layers of “ok, once i ‘let go’ I’m going to get what I want, when I want it.”  And when that doesn’t happen, I reach another layer of ego temper tantrum-ing and grief.  

It is important to remember that the ego (which is only doing it’s job, I’m not one to say that the ego is bad–we need it to survive on this planet) can hide its agenda within a spiritual process.  So we can believe we are letting go, when really we’re just looking for a slick way to fulfill our ego desires.

I hope this makes sense; I know it is a bit abstract.  Let me know if you need clarification.

And I also want to say that all of this letting go is WORTH IT because I have found, in every case, that when I truly surrender and let my Essential Self co-create magic and miracles with my Source, what happens is always so much more awe inspiring, magical, fun and expansive than whatever ego agenda I was holding on to.

k

 Hey friends I have a previously scheduled appointment today so I am going to run out for a few hours.  Keep your questions coming please (and continue to interact with eachother) and I will address them all when I return.  I will try to check in via my iPhone but it is a bit limiting to type on that so I’ll save my juicier responses for when I get back.  Have a beautiful morning!!! love to all, kimberly

Good Morning Kimberly and Heather! Thank you for sharing this wonderful topic today! I have been through so many changes over the past few years that I have discovered and embraced the idea of letting go! I also fully believe that when one door closes another door opens on something even better! I think my frustration now is having put so much into my business and not having much response. I am READY for clients! How do you suggest moving forward and getting “unstuck” from a situation such as this?

Hi Kimberly and Heather. Thank you for this wonderful post–I felt so nourished by it. Lovely, resonant truth telling.

I’ve had a falling-apart time in the form of a chronic health difficulty that has not finished teaching me. When I’m feeling particularly ill, it’s very obvious that fighting it, even the slightest move mentally of trying to figure out, what I did to cause it, how I might get out of it–all that gets me immediate feedback of feeling worse. So it is a very patient teacher of moment by moment.

I admit I keep hoping to graduate from this course of study, though.

Mostly I am grateful–not pretending. I want out of my self-improvement racket and into the deeper Unconditional…and if this is what it takes, and apparently it does, well, hell yes, I’m in.

Would welcome your reflections. And just glad to connect with you.

Love and appreciation,
Jude

Kimberley,

I just love your poem.

I feel like so many of us are reaching for this brass ring of making a living doing the work we love, having that purpose-ful business, and yet we don’t always realize we are signing on for a bumpy road of ongoing evolution and personal transformation.

For me, I seem to keep moving through different phases in my life and work. Right now, I am feeling that itch and restlessness, and even a push from the universe to step out more, and that introvert/hermit part of me is feeling really grumpy and resistant.

That to me is the place of discomfort (I don’t use stuck much because things seem to always be moving), when I feel pulled in two directions and I’m not sure whether to honor the part of me that wants to hunker down at home and be mellow and do my own innovative noodling, and the part of me that is saying “the writing is on the wall, you are called to be visible, to reach for more.”

Beautiful poem, Kim!  So happy to see you here.  Unfortunately, I can’t stay long … running out the door to teach my first acting class.  (All started with the PECC!!!)

Love you both!!
Cherry

Hi Cherry thanks for stopping by! How fun that you are teaching an acting class! I wish I could be in it! have fun Love, kim

Isabel how fun to connect with you here!

I’m glad you love the poem

I agree that soul-inspired entrepreneurship (or having your own business of any kind, actually) creates so much upheaval! If only we knew what we were signing on for….but then again, I wouldn’t want it any other way (and I’m guessing you would say the same!)  The bumps and the shakeups have all been part of the huge openings.  And one thing I love about having my own business is that it forces me to come face to face with the fact that I’m participating in creating my reality.  After all, if my business isn’t going the way I want it to–who is responsible for that, other than me?

Knowing you Isabel I’m guessing you have been through this process of tension between your restlessness to step out and your hermit side resisting that, many times.  How do you typically navigate through that? What works best for you? It seems to me that both pieces of who you are have so much wisdom and benefit for your life; the trick must be figuring out how to honor each of them in a way that allows you to expand and move forward, rather than have them fighting it out all the time.  Is it really an “either/or” Or is it a “both/and?”

Love, kim  PS I can’t wait to see what emerges from this process for you!

Allison I am with you–one door closes and another opens! The difficulty for many people (not you apparently) is that they wait for the door to be closed for them rather than making a choice to consciously let go and move on.  That’s why I love what Heather teaches about the power of closing doors.

I can appreciate your frustration about not seeing the clients rolling in…have certainly been there before at various points in my business.  For me the key concept in that circumstance is what i call “releasing attachment to form.”

In other words, you have an idea in your mind, culled from logical and sound business marketing concepts, that you create a solid business plan, get clear on how you can serve, whom you are serving, how to reach them, what to charge, etc….and then the clients should start rolling in.  Right?

So here’s where I would go with that–get underneath the “form” of that story to the energy or “intangibles” underneath.

I’m going to guess at some of the intangibles that are present in your case:

1. A desire to serve
2. A desire to express your gifts
3. A desire to have your gifts valued
3. A desire to experience abundance/prosperity/plenty

Am I accurate with those things? There may be more which I have not identified–feel free to let me know if there are, or if I have made some incorrect assumptions here.

Whatever the energetic desires or intangibles are, there are countless ways for them to be met outside attracting new clients.

Now, I suspect your ego is saying, “wait a minute! I thought you were going to teach me how to manifest magic and miracles! What about manifesting more clients in miraculous ways?”

And here’s the thing:  magic and miracles don’t come through our ego’s ideas about how things should happen or what the outcome should be.

So, my advice to you would be this: start asking yourself these questions, moment to moment:

1. How can I best serve in this situation? (and ALWAYS include yourself in this equation–you need to make sure your essential spiritual, emotional, physical and intellectual needs are being met…)

2. What would be the most delightful way to express my creativity right now?

3. Where in my life am I seen, appreciated and valued in a way that feels wonderful to me?

4. What is the nature of abundance?

When you start asking yourself these sorts of questions, your life may answer with more clients.  And yet, because you have expanded your focus well beyond the limited perception of “when are clients going to come, and how can I survive until then?” you have created a space for your soul’s deepest desires to be satisfied in magical and miraculous and awe inspiring ways.

Try that out, and let me know what happens! I hope you’ll stay in touch.  If you’d like to receive my free eCourse on Conscious Manifestation you can request it at http://www.TheManifestationMaven.com or KimberlySchneider.com.

Let me know if any of that is unclear Allison.  Thanks for your question! Abundance, peace and much joy to you, kimberly

Hello Jude my friend how are you? How was the glorious creativity retreat you offered (wasn’t that back in late winter/early spring?)

I love the attitude you are taking around this health project–sounds like quite a teacher! I don’t blame you for wanting to graduate

And I’m so glad you shared your process authentically because I think it’s the same trap I often end up in–catching myself surrendering in order to get a particular result–being attached to outcome (of course, that isn’t surrending/letting go at al!) And yet, even in this we are invited to have compassion for ourselves. It’s not about “getting it right” or reaching enlightenment once and for all.  It is having the awareness to see when we aren’t present, when our egos are attached, and then choosing to remember who we really are–and let go of the attachments.  Over and over and over.

I know you already know this, but I want to say it for the benefit of others who are also reading: Jude, you aren’t doing anything wrong.  You aren’t being punished.  You aren’t experience a health crisis because you haven’t “figured out” this manifestation thing.  There is a gift for you in this.  Perhaps, more gifts than you can even imagine.  Everything you need is right here. 

Sending you love and continued healing Jude, kimberly

Hey Cafe friends

want to be sure you all see the free gift I’m giving you all (I posted it in response to a question; some of you may have missed it).

we are talking a lot about letting go and surrendering today, because letting go of what we are holding on to (the way things have been, what we want others to do, etc.–and that even includes the things we REALLY want to manifest and that we seem to have been led to create…) makes space for magic and miracles to happen.

why is that? why do we have to let go in order to manifest magic and miracles?

Because, as long as we are are attached to a particular outcome, we are disconnected from our Essential Selves.  Our small brains can only envision outcomes with which we are familiar.  And so, even if we are repeating affirmations about manifesting miracles, etc., we won’t do it–if we are trying to MAKE it happen with our egos.

SO…letting go is critical.  And that’s why I wanted to share this letting go meditation with you.  I normally offer it for $7 (still a steal) but I wanted to offer it all to you for free to say thanks for participating in the blog and asking great questions!

Enjoy and let me know what you think.  And feel free to follow up with me, either here later today, or, via email support@kimberlyschneider.com or on fb                                           http://facebook.com/kimberlyvschneider        
       alright, here’s the download link for the meditation:
http://kschneider.audioacrobat.com/download/3f0317cf-30eb-83e0-cf47-a99c6156bb00.mp3  my voice will gently walk you through the process of letting go, simply and quickly too.  It is an exercise you can use over and over again.  Enjoy!

I’m heading to the pool for a bit.  Will check in again late this afternoon! Blessings, kimberly

Hi Kimberly! You have given me so much more than I could have even hoped! I love that you asked me about abundance. I try to always teach that abundance is not strictly about money! I practice that myself in business and in my life.

The questions which you asked have given me a brand new way to approach my work! I am going to keep asking myself these every moment that I can! It makes me feel less “stuck” just seeing how you approached my issue. I recognize now allowing myself to serve in creative and inspiring ways will open those new doors I’m looking for!

I’m looking forward to connecting with you and will certainly keep you posted on my progress and stay in touch!

Thank you SO much for sharing your insight with me.

Thank you, Kimberly,

I may know it *sometimes* but it always helps to be reminded.
Wonderful meditation, too–what generosity!

May all your blessings rebound and resound.

xoJ

Kim – first I want to tell EVERYONE here how blessed I am to have you in my life! So there, ya’all!

Have allowed myself to be a little sidetracked today by private messages from someone in my “sandbox” of speakers, coaches, writers, etc… who was very traumatized by the suicide attempt of another person who plays in the same world. 

I wasn’t surprised, I’d seen his dissonance and the pain. I am saddened, but he is walking out his path his own way and this may have been the step he needed to take to avoid a more successful attempt later. Or to wake himself up. Or to wake US up. 

Interestingly enough, as I began to chide myself for giving my energy and time to someone ELSE’S drama (a bright shiny thing for many coaches, I’m sure) I recognized that my answers to her contained wisdom I didn’t know I had. There were my next three blog posts, a chapter that belongs in my book, kernels of truth I had thrown out with the chaff.

But then, there was also the hour and  half of reading, responding, detoxing, reframing…

Depends on how I tell the story, doesn’t it? Either I let myself get trapped into a tailspin of drama/trauma, free coaching and emotional drain. OR I was offered a completely no-risk opportunity to learn from someone else’s story.

What do you do when these energy vampires appear? Better way to handle it? Better way to leverage it? 

Jude Blessings back to you my dear! I love that–the idea of blessings “rebounding and resounding.”  Thank you xo
 

Allison what a kind and generous reply! Thank you.  I am delighted that my response helped create a shift for you.  I look forward to hearing from you and learning from your experience! We are all mirrors and teachers for each other.  Love and blessings, kim

Dixie how wonderful to see you here at the Soul Filled Cafe!  You will find lots of like-minded souls here; I’m so happy you’ve stopped by, with a really important question.

I like what you said, “depends on how I tell the story, doesn’t it?”

Before I get into your question about the energy vampire thing, let me say that it sounds like you got some real benefit from going through this today–some insight you needed and some material for your book! So, whether you would do it again in the same way or not, there is a blessing there for you. 

And you’ve also touched on an important question about where the line is between compassion and getting hooked by someone else’s drama.  That is something I have worked with for a long time and I am realizing that (in my case anyway) it is much less about the other person’s drama or perceived needs and more about my need to fix it. 

I too have given a lot of thought to the concept of “energy vampires.”  Your statement about everything depending on what story we tell is completely relevant to an insight I just had this morning.  My situation may be totally different from what you experienced, but I’ll share my insight just in case it is helpful. 
 
I was receiving energy work today (in a session with Marilyn Eagen, The Hormone Harmonizer, she is wonderful, if you don’t know about her check her out!)  Anyway, I was during the session I was pondering my relationship with someone I’ve known for some time, which has felt lopsided to me.  I don’t know what that person’s perspective would be, but I have felt at times a bit “vampired” by the situation. 

Then, this morning, when I was thinking about all the reasons I felt that way, I realized that the person had never actually asked me to do the things I did that made me feel so topsy turvy in the first place.  Perhaps there was an energetic request, unconsciously made on their part and unconsciously met on mine.  Not sure.  Even if the request was  made, I did not have to respond in the way that I did.  So, this has been a big lesson for me about depleting myself and extending myself where it may not even be wanted, and then resenting it, making up a story that the person was an “energy vampire.”

Now, let’s be clear: I do realize that there ARE people out there who (consciously or otherwise) suck up our energy–IF WE LET THEM. 

I think I’ve reached another level of being clear about whether to extend myself in
 this way, and, if I do, to do it consciously and being sure I’m taking care of my own needs along the way, being present to how I’m feeling.

Since I’m right in the middle of this myself, Dixie I’m not sure if what I have shared is at all helpful to you.  I hope it is.  I want to thank you so much though, for raising the question, because it is supporting me in anchoring my own awareness.  (You’re helping me as you do so often ) 

Thanks, love and blessings, kim

Kimberly, the post is truly inspiring, and the poem beautiful. Thanks for sharing this!

Letting go is a huge challenge for me, too–have always been a planner and an organizer. But as you say, how can we plan for magic when, almost by definition, it’s something we haven’t experienced before? I’ll be listening to your audio gift, and prepare to enjoy the process.

It DOES help and it is totally relevant. Comes back to what I told this person in response to her being traumatized by the other person’s choice. We ALL walk our own path and only we can be responsible for where it leads. Today I was led somewhere I needed to go. BUT I didn’t need to let it suck at my energy.

So there is the balance beam – fall off on one side and we miss the opportunity to dip into our own well of wisdom. Fall off the other side and we fall into the trap of giving energy without being mindful of our choice. 

WALK it with sure feet and land the dismount and we have been gifted with insights, we have offered compassion (literally “to suffer with”) but we have preserved our own energy field. (yes it IS possible to offer compassion without pouring out excessive energy – suffering is our choice too.)

Ahhhhhh – feeling dots connecting. Can’t wait to see you!

Now… must.go.write.post

Donna thank you I look forward to hearing what opens up for you in using the exercise contained in the audio.  Please keep me posted! Many blessings, kimberly

Dixie how beautiful–what you wrote here is such an eloquent expression of some noble truths! And I’m glad you wrote back again because one of the things I was thinking as I was in the shower just now was that I don’t want to imply that we should not be present to others’ pain.  Drama happens.  People experience loss.  I don’t mean to suggest that we be insensitive to that.  But we can actually be more powerfully present when we are not caught up in our own emotional reaction to what happens (I know you already get this; just didn’t want others to misunderstand what I was saying!)

Thanks for being part of the Cafe today Dixie! I too look forward to catching up once the kids go back to school, if not before.   Can’t wait to read your post.  xo

Hello again everyone; I am loving the quality and depth of the questions you have sent so far, and thanks to all of you who’ve already connected with me on Facebook!
http://facebook.com/kimberlyvschneider 

I am getting ready to head out again for a about 3 and 1/2 hours to attend my monthly Celtic Spirituality group (we’re going to walk the labyrinth on this lovely summer evening; hooray!)  I WILL be back on tonight and will answer any other questions before I go to sleep.  So, hope to hear from you some more and connect with you again in a few hours.  Many blessings, kimberly

Hi everyone I’m going to wrap up tonight by answering a question that Heather asked me this morning:

” Kimberly — I’d love for you to share more about the recent change you
went through.  What was different from other changes you’ve been through
(I mean you’ve morphed several times in your life — one being when you
transformed from a “lawyer” to a “counselor” to a “coach/teacher”?”

I was reflecting on this Heather as I walked the labyrinth tonight.   In some ways, this letting go was no different–it seems that the big ones are always a bit of a challenge   Yet, I think that this time I hit an even deeper level of internal surrender, accepting that I really have NO IDEA what form my life will take from year to year or even day to day.  I think this is a reflection of what we are all going through as a culture (has anyone else noticed the big changes? Institutions crumbling? Paradigms shifting? People losing jobs and homes? Crazy weather? Revolutions? Governments toppling?…)

I suppose that at some level my ego had been thinking that since I teach this manifestation stuff that I was going to escape the impact of the huge social shifts in my own life.  I feel now that this was arrogance.  And I am actually grateful for the challenges and changes my family has encountered over the past 18 months or so (financial, spiritual, relational, health…we’ve sort of run the gamut).  Because it was a reminder that while we ARE co-creators, we are magnificent miracle makers and manifesters of magic, the part of us that does this is the Essential Self.  Not the ego.  Not the piece that wants to know what’s going to happen next year and tomorrow and in the next breath.

I don’t know what all these big changes mean, exactly.  For that, I’d suggest reading people like Gregg Braden, who is an expert on the 2012 stuff, or Karen Bishop and some of the other people who interpret world events in terms of energy and astrology.  But I will say this: we were made for these times.  Everything is falling apart so that we can create something new.  We have the opportunity now to begin imagining and manifesting the sort of world we really want to live in.  And in order to do that, we have to let go of the safe and the known.

One more thing:

I received an email today from a reader who had just suffered a major and unexpected loss.  A friend told her to think of it as a “lesson.”  I’d like to share with you what I wrote to her:

***

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  I know this must be an
overwhelming and painful time.  Before giving you any advice or
interpretations let me just say that I pray you are surrounded by loving
and supportive people and that all your needs will be met in lovely and
miraculous ways.  Also, please give yourself time and space to grieve. 
It is alright for you to feel pain around this, regardless of your
spiritual interpretation of the events.  Having a larger perspective
does not mean the pain just goes away.

I know that your friend is trying to be helpful in suggesting a
“lesson” in this.  And that is one way to look at it.  Often, however, I
find that in this sort of message is an underlying implication that you
have done something wrong and this “lesson” is coming to correct you. 
(this may not be at all what your friend intended–just want to
be clear that it is not what i believe).

I prefer to think that, rather than a lesson, this experience holds a
gift and a blessing for you.  Perhaps even many many blessings.  It is
difficult to see that now, and you don’t need to force that.  Just keep
breathing and, when you can, start saying to yourself: “perhaps I will
be blessed by this in a way I can’t understand in the moment.” 
Eventually, as the small and large graces start flowing in through this
opening that has been created in your life, you will begin to say “I
can’t wait to see what other blessings are in store for me.” 

When we suffer a big loss, it is best to focus on the small and
simple things.  The joy of being clean.  Having a soft and safe place to
sleep.  A nourishing meal.  Keep breathing.  Keep bringing yourself
back, over and over again, to this moment.  Be in your body and find
ways to care for yourself.  Accept any help that is offered that feels
supportive to you.  Let yourself know the abundance of life in a
way you never could have had you not had this experience.

I’m not suggesting you pretend to like what has happened.  But that
as you can bring your awareness into the present and your breath and
your body in each moment, and gently and gradually shift your focus onto
the small things that bring true joy and appreciation, you will begin
to heal.

Sending you love, healing, peace, compassion, kimberly

***

 I share that message again now for all of you, and as a reminder for myself.  We’re living in the age of miracles.  It’s an exciting time.  It is a time of change.  Sometimes, it is a scary time.  And even if we weren’t living in “interesting times,” each life is filled with losses that are openings.

My wish for you is that you find peace amidst the chaos, hope when faced with challenge and the courage to release whatever keeps you from stepping into the awe-inspiring manifester of magic and miracles that you are.

And please, let us continue this conversation.  Look me up on facebook:
 http://facebook.com/kimberlyvschneider  and also request my free Conscious Manifestation eCourse at http://www.KimberlySchneider.com

I welcome your questions and comments and look forward to connecting with you further.

with heartfelt appreciation for your presence here,
kimberly schneider  
” the manifestation maven”

“Not caught up in our own emotional reaction” – BANG! You nailed it! What Richard would call “forgetting that none of this is real – it is only OUR creation.” 

Blog is up – NOT as eloquent as my feelings. But I promised myself I would not let perfectionism (or IMperfectionphobia) keep me from posting. http://dixiedynamitecoaching.com/bright-shiny-excuse-or-opportunity-to-explore-wisdom/

You are a blessing. 

Kimberly — I am feeling so much gratitude for the depth of the conversation you took us on at the Cafe  Thank YOU.  You are such a blessing and I know you have opened us up to appreciating our spirit-filled life turning points on a much deeper level. 

Big virtual hug and more soon.

Dixie, wow — I love how you saw that what was happening could be re-framed as perfect for YOU and your growth and new understandings, that you are now going to share forward via your blog and more.

I think that is KEY. 

Thanks for bringing your lovely self here.  Such a blessing!  xo

Oh cool — so glad you shared the link.  
Check out Dixie’s new post and her “Dynamite!” blog y’all!!

Isabel — you have packed a jumbo of wisdom into this.  And I so related to what you speak of.

Can I quote you on this:
“I feel like so many of us are reaching for this brass ring of making a
living doing the work we love, having that purpose-ful business, and yet
we don’t always realize we are signing on for a bumpy road of ongoing
evolution and personal transformation.”

So well said!

My feeling on the two directions thing (which I experience also) is that it is not an “either / or” (My calling is to be visible vs My calling is to go within and use my hermit to excavate my wisdom.)  I think the one nurtures the other and visa versa.  That the spotlight self needs the nurturing of time alone and withdrawing from the crowd and external pulls.  And the hermit needs to take it’s newly discovered wisdom and share it with others to bring it home even deeper. 

It’s finding the balance that is so tricky.   And trusting when the pull is to withdraw, that this is the best thing we can do for our selves is the “innovative noodling”  (great wording)

Thanks for being here, Isabel!

That is soul-filled wisdom.  Beautiful guidance Kimberly!