Today’s Guest Expert is Sharon Light
Sharon Light on the Trip of a Lifetime
I just got back from the trip of a lifetime. One month of me, the open road and about 20 different US cities. Nice, right? I’d been planning this trip for some time, figuring out where to go but determined to keep it “loose”, changing plans or destinations as I saw fit. Ah, freedom. I regarded these 30 days as my time – time to reflect, time to daydream, time to work on my business plan. I mean, who knew what could come of hours and hours of my being alone with my thoughts?
Well, that kind of backfired, at least at first. It didn’t take long for me to work myself into a tizzy, wondering how I might ever be able to move forward as a coach, do more to build my business, support myself and continue to succeed. My limiting beliefs (or “LBs”) were attempting to get the best of me. I was having a hard time convincing myself that I had what it takes. After some digging, I realized that my core belief, whether I liked it or not, was keeping me from moving forward.
Isn’t it amazing how limiting beliefs can stop you dead in your tracks? The key is not only to recognize them as the brick walls that they are, but to actually dissect them and dig deeper – dismantle them, if you will. It’s easy to say, “Yep, I’m getting in my own way.” That’s a start, but it’s not going to help you in actually getting OUT of your own way. Break down the pesky “LB”, dig it out piece by piece and replace it with a positive, strong and actually TRUE belief. Lo and behold:
I can’t do it turns into I can
I don’t have what it takes becomes I am ready, willing and able
I don’t deserve this morphs into I am worthy and showered in abundance.
Suddenly, your feelings follow suit, and therein lies the key: feelings of fear, unworthiness, doubt and (insert icky feeling here) are replaced with feelings of confidence, optimism and certainty. The vision you associate with the limiting belief turns vibrant. You’re in the process of getting out of your own way.
I work with people going through change or transition and my clients come to me at different stages of their personal journey. Often it starts with their beliefs: do they think the change they want to make is possible? Are they open to the possibility – the belief – that they can do this? If the answer is no, chances are an LB breakdown is in order.
Martha Beck, in her glorious, get-out-of-your-own-way handbook, Steering By Starlight, offers a method of deconstructing those limiting beliefs that came as a surprise to me. Believe it or not, it starts with your home. I’ve adapted it below – do this simple exercise first with your home, and you’ll quickly see how the “butterfly effect” takes it to other areas of your life – your work, your relationships, your health – and watch the LBs melt away. It’s a simple yet powerful exercise, and I invite you to take a moment to do it yourself. Feel free to share what you uncover!
1. Do a walk through of your home, mentally or physically, and survey your domain. Note how you feel as you walk from room to room. What feels good? What feels not so good? And what feels downright icky?
2. Hone in on the area of your home in which you feel the most discomfort, or even disgust. Could be a room, could be a cluttered shelf…
3. Now, close your eyes and think of a place, anywhere, that you find absolutely beautiful, happy and feel-good. It could be a place you’ve experienced, or a place you’ve only seen in a magazine – as long as it makes you feel delightful.
4. Find 3 adjectives to describe this “happy place” of yours. Feel free to jot them down:
1.
2.
3.
5. Go out and find something you can add to this “icky” area of your home that embodies one or more of the adjectives you used above. For the purpose of our time here in the Cafe, think about what this might be: A paint color? A pillow? A piece of art? Something to wrangle the clutter? Identify the object and add it to your “space of dispair”. Do this step more than once, if you like.
6. For as many items you add to this space, remove items from it that contribute to the dark feelings that drew you to the area in the first place. Take away anything that doesn’t inspire you.
7. Keep going until that space is right for you! Work with it. Change it. Morph it into an area that emanates inspiration and positivity, rather than an area that gives you a shot of discomfort every time you walk by.
Pretty simple, right? You can apply this to any area of your life in which you’re feeling that “discomfort”, or any area that you feel simply isn’t in order. In the exercise above, replace items you add and take away with actions you take. The effects will be unmistakable.
It took me well into my round-the-country trip to flip my limiting beliefs upside down, not to mention several different exercises like the one above. But, since I took a good look, I’m realizing more than ever that the sky’s the limit. When you boil it down, keeping the limiting beliefs at bay was how I got to see Interstate 10 up close and personal. I packed up my laptop, jumped in the car and took to the road for a whole month. How did that happen? I simply believed, without question, that I could.
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Sharon Light
Sharon Light is a certified personal coach who specializes in helping people realize their vision. After a 12-year stint in the corporate world, she broke free of the 9 to 5 grind in order to pursue a new path as life coach and entrepreneur.
Having “been there, done that”, she brings resources and insight to her workshops, talks and one-to-one coaching sessions, hoping to inspire, invigorate and support her clients as they navigate their own seas of change. http://sharonlightstudios.com
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I am an innovative coach and love inspiring you to find soul-satisfying success for your creative endeavors. I am also a writer, author, and "laptop lifestyle" enthusiast.