Today’s Guest Expert is Lisa Marie Selow,
Author of “A Rebel Chick’s Mystic Guide:
Healing Your Spirit with Positive Rebellion”
In your own words, what is “A Rebel Chick’s Mystic Guide”? And who is a “rebel chick” to you?
I’d describe my self-help book as a playground for the soul, a place to uncover more of your true, spunky, and courageous self. My intention in writing it was to facilitate the reader in writing her own guide for living, since no book or teacher can really tell you how to live your life. In my coaching work with women, I like to ask my clients questions that make them really think, so that we can get to the heart or core of things. I used that approach in A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Guide, but I wanted to make the process fun. I don’t see any point in doing personal development work unless it’s enjoyable. I mean, sometimes, things can come up that challenge us or we briefly look at the pain of the past. However, even though I’m a rebel type of chick, I’m a bit lovey dovey too and wear my heart on my sleeve, so I like to be as loving, compassionate, and supportive of women as I can be. I know what it’s like to feel different or ask the question, “when will my life stop sucking so much?”
Speaking of rebel chick…to me, this is a woman who desires freedom and wants to carve out her own path in life, including her life purpose and spiritual path. Tattoos, piercings, fishnets, and leather are not required. A rebel chick might look like the girl next door and even live a traditional life on the outside.
It’s really an internal thing, this flame of rebellion. To me, if you reject the negative programming you grew up with or from society and choosing a more positive mindset and direction, that’s being a rebel chick. It’s being a positive type of rebel.
Some rebel chicks are activists. Others’ positive rebellion might be asking for help with the dishes. I think that many women especially identify with the archetype of the rebel. The rebel often is the heroine in many books and movies. I say why not be the heroine in your own life story
What inspired you to write “A Rebel Chick’s Mystic Guide?
My lovely women clients inspired me so much! I kept noticing similar themes and concerns of my clients. I thought, “Oh, wow, so many women are asking similar questions, so there must be some need for sharing the wisdom.”
Much of my past work was as a professional psychic. After you do hundreds or thousands of readings, you’ll get to this place as a reader where you feel you’re saying similar things over and over. Of course, the essence will come through differently for each client.
I felt as though I needed to share the guidance that came through for spirit on a larger scale. I’ve always had this life mission of empowering women, so I wanted to be able to be of service to more numbers of women.
What are the biggest mistakes you see women make when it comes to living an authentic and inspired life?
I think that we try to please others way too much and table our needs, even denying ourselves of life’s pleasures. I joke that some women try to be June Cleaver, Mother Theresa, and Pollyanna all at once! Modern life requires us to juggle so many things and roles. Sometimes, our true selves, desires, and dreams get lost in that mix.
I also think that some women tend to be perfectionists. I ascribe to the modern feminist idea that you can have it all, but I often wonder at what cost? I wonder if we exhaust ourselves trying to have the perfect body or relationship or career or house–or, all of the above? The popular media still really influences us with their ideas of modern womanhood. The 1950s notions of womanhood are still active, I think in some ways too. Add things such as the pressure to be a perfect size 2 and have a high-powered career and it’s a recipe for unhappiness. Worst of all, if we wait until we’re “perfect” to be happy or take action on our dreams, it’s like sitting on the sidelines and watching everyone else have fun.
If we’ve made any of these mistakes, how can we recover from them?
I recommend taking care of yourself. Self-care is not selfish at all. At times, I struggle to do this too. I notice if I’m feeling grumpy or out of sorts, I have to look at if I have the basics covered: good nutrition, a good quality/quantity of sleep, time for hobbies, hydration, and exercise. If one of those is off, I know I need to take action. I like to add things that are important to my own spiritual path such as journaling, yoga, meditation, and making music. Even taking five minutes per day to take a walk on break at work or making yourself a hot cup of herbal tea can do wonders.
There are some simple, but potent remedies for people pleasing and perfectionism such as asking for help and support or delegating some work. I think loving and accepting oneself is another way, but it can seem hard to do. I think with small baby steps such as self-care daily, it gets a bit easier to love ourselves more and also, ease up a bit.
If there were only 3 things that you could tell women to do to create more adventurous, heart-filled lives, what would those 3 things be?
Oh, I love this question! Here’s what I recommend: (Of course, only take what resonates with your own heart.)
- Take one small risk per month. Do one thing outside your comfort zone. Sometimes, we think if we wait for the courage, we’ll be able to do the things that scare us. I think that if we take action, the courage shows up. I’ll use myself as an example. I recently commented on one of my favorite blogs. I was afraid to do it, due to my admiration of the person. Well, I did it and tweeted her blog post. She wrote me back to thank me. I lived to tell about it. I’m giggling as I type this ‘cause I’ve done things that are much scarier such as race my mountain bike, but the size of what you do doesn’t matter. It is all good.
- Do one thing per day that makes your heart sing. Do it before you have to go to work, first thing in the morning. If you don’t do it, you may not make the time for it.
- Go on one trip per year on your own. Pick someplace you’ve never been to before. Even if you are on a budget, you can pick a neighboring town or a friends’ house. This might sound crazy, especially if you have kids or a job or a spouse/partner. Maybe you can even go do some service or volunteer work? Plan it out so you can go for a long weekend. I’ve had miraculous things happen in my life when I’ve traveled alone. Your awareness is dialed differently and you’ll notice more things. When you try new things, it gets you out of your comfort zone. It’s the perfect ego tweaking.
You are now a HAY HOUSE author – which is so amazing! So many women have books inside them and dream of being published authors. What advice can you give them for birthing their first book? What would be the FIRST STEP you would tell them to take?
Aww, thanks. It’s been quite the journey. I wanted to write a book for almost 15 years, so I really relate to anyone who dreams of getting their book published. The first step I’d say is to sit down and write down the top 10 things or pieces of wisdom that you desire to share with the world. These are things that are so important to you and you feel as though they can help others in some way. They truly are from the heart. Think about the legacy you would like to leave behind.
I used to do daily meditations where I connected with my book’s audience during the process, from my book proposal to my manuscript. It’s helpful to connect with those energies and see who it is you’re meant to serve.
If you’re a fiction writer, you still can apply these ideas. Sit down and write out the outline of your story. You also can connect with your audience through visualization or meditation.
Often our biggest lessons are also are biggest teachers. Do you have an example in your own life of something that happened to you that lead you to embrace your “Rebel Chick”?
Oh, yes, too many to count, but I had a big one. At the end of 2008, my husband decided to take a severance package voluntarily to leave his job as an engineer with one of the large automakers in Detroit. I just assumed he’d get another job elsewhere. We even were making plans to relocate to Southern California, our favorite place. Instead, my husband decided to do a sabbatical of sorts, working at a bicycle shop to see if he’d ever want to own one.
I freaked out! It caused me a great deal of anxiety, stress, and depression, along with some health challenges. I wasn’t making enough money in my business, so I also took on a job as a psychic reader to supplement my own psychic business. The clients that came to me had much worse going on in their lives, including cancer, illness, depression, foreclosure on their homes, bankruptcy, and incarcerated loved ones. It forced me to be more grateful for my life, even though I felt close to the financial ruin some of them were going through as I watched my savings dwindle each month.
A sweet client I had at my job towards the end asked about her life purpose. It threw me for a loop ‘cause I hadn’t addressed an issue like that in a while in a reading. The advice I gave her, I knew I had to take since I’m all about walking my talk. She wanted to start a fun business, but worried about what others would think. I told her to do it anyway.
I decided to be a rebel chick too. After that reading, I started to develop another website I had been sitting on for a while that married my punk rock and psychic sides. On my last day of work at that job, that client came to give me a flier of her business she started that we had discussed.
How has life transformed for you since embracing your “Rebel Chick”?
I’m still a work in progress, but I’d say I’m happier, more peaceful, and more authentic. I’ve had tremendous healing in my marriage, health, and life purpose. I’ve been learning to embrace my inner rocker chick and this has allowed some of my inner good girl to fall away gently.
One of the things that I worked on was reclaiming my singing voice, so after some lessons, I’ve been working on incorporating singing with my electric guitar playing. It’s hard work, but I really feel called to write songs for women, to help them to heal. As a spiritual teacher and motivational speaker, I have been surprised that I’m no longer the shy girl. I express myself much more than in the past. I also attract clients who want to do the same, to be seen and heard in their lives more.
Lately, I’ve been finding that the divine feminine really rocks my world! I am working with a coach on this and wow is all I can say. I feel a sequel coming on to my book
Photos of Lisa are by Kathleen Lane.
* * *
Click on the book to find out about special gifts when you purchase your copy of “A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Guide.”
Lisa Marie Selow
Lisa Marie Selow (pronounced ‘see lo’) is here to spark a revolution of positive rebellion, so that women can live truly happy lives! She is a self-esteem expert and life coach who helps women rock their courage. Her first book, A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Guide is by Hay House, Inc., a popular personal growth company that publishes authors like Wayne Dyer and Marianne Willaimson. Lisa has helped women transform their lives for nearly 20 years.
For your free email course, Rebel Chick Mystic’s Power Tool Kit: Get Happier, Get Braver, and Get Sexier!, visit: lisaselow.com
Don’t miss a thing! Sign up for the Soul-filled Cafe here.