The 10 Step Guide to Healing Your Life

Yesterday, I began my day with some vision boarding and re-watching of Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life” DVD. It felt yummy — especially given a brand new month and the release of hurricane energy that started off the week.

Louise Hay’s personal story and teachings are a great reminder of the power of our creative thoughts – and the ability we each have to change our life. I felt inspired to share with you a sort of bottom line guide based on the wisdom from this DVD.

Here’s your 10 step (Louise Hay approved) guide for healing your life from “can’t” to “can” and from “stuck” to “flowing.”

1. Be willing to change.

The journey begins with replacing “I can’t” or “this sucks” or “I hate my life” with a willingness to create change.

2. Use positive life affirmations.

Next, use affirmations to plant seeds. At first they may feel like a stretch, but as you write and speak them regularly and allow the feeling of the words to vibrate through your body, you will begin to align your actions to support the more positive thoughts.

Affirmations are the cornerstones to all of Louise Hay’s work, and the foundation for her life success.

“To begin with you start doing affirmations – and that is making positive statements about your life — and you do them deliberately. And as you start to do them, things will begin to change, maybe on a very small level.  I call it getting the green lights and parking spaces.” ~Louise Hay

3. Beware of challenges.

As you set out on your journey of positive change you will come up against the assumptions and beliefs that no longer serve you. You will be tempted to use denial (“things are fine as they are”), delay tactics (“I don’t have the time for this”), or fear (“People will think I am crazy”) to stop yourself.  This is exactly when you need to keep going.

4. Testing the depth of your commitment.

At some point you may face a big test to your commitment.  After years of making positive changes, Louise Hay was diagnosed with vaginal cancer.  A close friend told her that she was being given an opportunity to practice what she was teaching.  She chose to cling to this idea and use a positive approach for healing.   After six months of nutrition + therapy + forgiveness work, her medical doctor told her what she already knew was true, that she was cured.

This challenging life stage is the opportunity to deepen your faith and launch yourself to a whole new level of life success. After her diagnosis and healing, Louise Hay went on to conduct breakthrough workshops with the HIV/AIDS community and launch her publishing empire.

5. Be willing to forgive.

The key to leaping beyond where you are stuck and challenged is to forgive. As in step one, this begins with a willingness to see things differently.

My favorite resources for forgiveness are:
* A Course in Miracles.
* Fearless Love, audio by Gary Renard.
* Take me to Truth with Nouk Sanches and Tomas Vieira.

6. Love yourself.

The hidden treasure to your best life is located in the center of yourself. Learning to love and accept yourself, in the face of whatever is happening will serve you in ways you cannot see from “I am not enough.”

“One day I discovered, much to my amazement, that if I could help people to learn to love themselves, to really accept themselves as they are, we didn’t have to work around problems. It is like a miracle, everything seemed to fall away, all the stuff that was in the way and all that wasn’t working.” ~Louise Hay

7. Accept the good with gratitude.

As you vibrate with appreciation and love, good things and little miracles will begin to happen. Life treats you differently and things begin to flow. Use gratitude to welcome in the positive change and become a beacon of inspiration for others.

8. Create clear intentions.

Creating your best life often means moving beyond the limits of those who have come before you. Your own beliefs and assumptions will hold you back (see step 3) unless you create a clear intention for positive change. What does your best relationship look like? What are your dream life goals?  Aim your boat’s tiller and sail away.

9.  Don’t worry about “how.”

Don’t worry about the “how” to get from A to Z. Your inner road map will guide you to your next steps (from A to B to C…). Use your intuition and gut feelings for the best next action to take.

From the very beginning, I answered the telephone, opened the mail and did what was in front of me, and things kept growing and growing and growing. ~Louise Hay

10. Surrender.

Be willing to let go of all of the things that are not benefiting your life. Release, let go and watch the magic unfold.

“Change can be as simple and easy as letting go of the limited beliefs you are holding onto. You can begin your journey wherever you are, whenever you want. You may be starting your journey from a mansion or a homeless shelter. Where ever you begin, the gateways to wisdom and knowledge are always open.” ~Louise Hay

Let the journey begin!  (And share your thoughts with me below.)

Making Sense of Change

photo by thekeithall

Have you ever noticed that life doesn’t follow a nice straight trajectory? You can plan, predict and think positively, but sometimes your soul (aka expanded-higher-true self) has other plans.

Last month I wrote an article about a certain celebrity’s recent life events that perfectly illustrate how a catalytic event (like it or not) launches you into the meltdown phase of the Change Cycle. You can read that article here.

Over the next 4 weeks I am sharing a 4-part series: Making Sense of Change. When you can navigate all the seasons of change, then you have found true security!

Read Part 1: When Nothing Makes Sense

Read Part 2: Dreaming the Next You

Read Part 3: Climb Your Mountain

Read Part 4: Don’t Rock the Boat!

Read Bonus: Do It Your Way

Here’s to your freedom and fulfillment!


When Nothing Makes Sense

Making Sense of Change – Part I:  Death & Rebirth

Growing Thru Obstacles, Meltdowns, Positive Changes, and Life Surprises   

Change Cycle

The Change Cycle always begins with a “catalytic event” (chosen or unchosen) that interrupts your typical life pattern.  A catalytic event is either self imposed or thrust upon you.  It can be experienced as something positive or negative.  Either way the meltdown and psychological metamorphosis begins… 
Typical Catalytic Events

  • Loss of a loved one    
  • Birth of a child
  • Being Fired
  • Being Hired
  • Marriage
  • Divorce
  • Moving                          
  • Starting school
  • Experiencing trauma  
  • Illness
  • Winning the lottery       
  • Changing careers

Square One:  Death and Re-birth

I don’t know what is going on (and that’s okay!)”

picture-5The first phase of change is  about transitioning from an old familiar place to something brand new.  The best way to navigate this phase is with baby steps.

Types of Change 
When you experience change that is a “shock“, you will be more dazed and confused in Square One, than when your life is changed by opportunity or inward transition.  When big change happens to you it may take several weeks or months before you finally understand that your life will never be the same again.  

(Note:  you may be at different stages of change in separate areas of your life, so while one area is melting down, another may be building or cruising along.) 

The best tools for this phase include:  making a habit of getting away, going inward, tuning into your essential self and doing the things that feel soothing to your soul.  Music, for example can help move you from denial or numbness to connect to and move through the difficult emotions. 

As a coach, when a client is experiencing Square One, there are two things I can support and guide them with:

  1. Help them to DISSOLVE any erroneous (and harmful) beliefs they may have been created in entering the meltdown.
  2. Help them to take the time to GRIEVE the real pain of loss

The biggest mistake you can make in Square One is to pretend it’s no big deal, ignore your internal compass and attempt to leap into goal setting and large action taking.  

wonderful metaphor for steering through Square One is of a leaf floating downstream This is a time to let go of struggle and allow the flow of life to take you forward – as going back is impossible.  


As you float down the river DO:

  • Make only small moves and gather information
  • Stay present and be in the “now” 
  • As much as you can, plan only days, hours or minutes in advance
  • Remember that an ‘identity crisis’ is part of the process
  • Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable (You are birthing a new you  — this is how it’s supposed to feel!)
  • Remember the grief cycle includes:  sadness, grief, denial, bargaining and anger.
  • Be ‘okay’ with being an awkward beginner
  • Remember the Square One Mantra:  “I don’t know what is going on and that’s okay!”
And finally, explore the Magic of the Threshold – consider letting yourself relax into the “not-thinking,” “not-doing,” and “goalless” spaciousness of Square One.    Watch for what and who emerges.

(c) 2009 Heather Gray
audio-boo*NEW*  Listen to Heather read this article. 

Next up: Square 2:  Dreaming and Scheming